Teenagers, as we know, can be complicated creatures – contradictory and frustrating at times, yet magnificent as well. But in the support care system, things become that much more challenging. To truly comprehend who these kids are and what they want, one has to look past the behaviour and the defences until something honest emerges.
The first thing they’d tell you is that they can tell the difference when someone is managing them versus when someone is really listening and wants to know what they’re thinking and feeling. If you are genuinely interested and willing to go through the process of finding out what works and what doesn’t work for a kid, they would be very grateful. The truth is that they rarely get the experience of knowing that someone else is listening and trying to figure things out alongside them. So, yes, it’s time-consuming and hard sometimes, but it is also rare and very valuable.
Second, although their history is part of their placement and therefore their story, it does not define their potential. A teenager hopes that you don’t see them only as a ‘case’ but as a ‘young person with potential’. There’s a big difference between the two, and they understand this. For Foster Care Swansea, consider https://saferfostering.org.uk/foster-care-wales/swansea/
Third, they want to be somewhere permanently; they don’t want to live somewhere temporarily. They want their own place, not just some other place, not another stop along the journey, but their home, somewhere they feel they belong.
Fourth, teenagers want to be believed in without condition. When you believe in them without condition, even in difficult circumstances, it’s needed.
Finally, more than anything, they want to matter. That’s it. No fancy bells or whistles. They want to matter. More than a family, more than a place to live, more than stability, more than safety, more than success – they want to matter.
