parents and sons

Attitudes to avoid why they ruin the bond between parents and sons

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The task of the parent is complex, because we are not only a father or a mother, but we are also educators, and it is here that real difficulties are encountered.

Attitudes to avoid why they ruin the bond between parents and sons, a link that could be seriously compromised. Making parents is the hardest job in the world because you do not learn it, there is no school or course on the subject. Every parent is based on the experience lived in turn as a child, and if he found himself well, if his relationship with his parents was more than satisfactory, he will try to adopt it in the hope that even in this case everything can go the right way.

parents and sons

However, this strategy is vitiated by a fundamental error, that time has changed, that the context is substantially different, that children can have different personalities, so it is necessary to adapt their behavior, their educational approach to the changed conditions, but not everyone knows how to do it because in most cases they are displaced and cannot adapt to the unexpected situation. Furthermore, the task of the parent is complex, because one is not only a father or a mother, but one is also educators, and it is here that most of the times the donkey falls, as they say.

Continue Reading: Attachment types, causes and alternatives

Sometimes serious mistakes are made. The two excesses, for example, are both to be avoided, as being too permissive or excessively severe. Some parents then have a bad habit of belittling the figure of the teacher, so if this for any just reason rebukes a child, provided that he does it in the correct ways obviously, is challenged, it is suggested to the son not to listen to him, and this is not at all an educational attitude because it is taught to not respect the authority, the rules, with which it will inevitably have to confront as it grows and once it becomes an adult.

To understand well the needs of their children and therefore to be always close to them, not only emotionally, but also as educators, as support, as counselors, it is necessary to listen to them, even when they do the most trivial of questions. Children make many and expect answers, so they should never be dismissed hastily or ignored because you are intent on doing other things. So never silence them, ignore them, otherwise they will isolate themselves, they will look for answers without consulting their parents and, little by little, they will end up excluding them from their life, they will ignore them, they will lose faith in them.

It is evident that it is necessary to teach them to respect the rules, and to make them aware that a disregarded rule has consequences, always adequate to the transgression, but it must be done firmly but explaining the reason for the error, so that the child understands and realize what should be done and what should be avoided. We must then give him confidence, congratulate him on things well done that should never be taken for granted, increase his self-esteem, otherwise the only punishment will have the opposite effect, in addition to remove the child from the parents in which he will start not have more that trust necessary.

So, when you scold them for a just reason, do it firmly and at the same time gently, without ever screaming at them, but making them realize that the reprimand is necessary and that at the same time the trust that feeds on them does not was compromised by that mistake. Absolutely avoid reproaching them in the presence of other people, especially with peers, just as it is equally important never to compare them with others, do not compare, do not make them feel inferior if anything to older brother or playmate, because otherwise, in addition to developing a feeling of inferiority, they could also begin to harbor a certain aversion towards the parent, or worse, an even more drastic and negative sentiment.

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