Experts in child psychology make known how to achieve it without succumbing to the attempt. Being good parents is the maximum that any dad or mom considers when it comes to being one. However, with the routine of daily life, work, conflicts and the relationship of a couple, sometimes that great objective is misplaced.
It is as if the neural, the rage and the lack of time, clouded and confused the healthy intentions of not contaminating our children with their own problems. But also, it is the case that the parents seek to satisfy their own needs and not that of the children, according to the psychologist.
I think that to be a good father you have to be present, tuned with your children and define the style of parenting that you will adopt so that it is not a daily improvisation.
In that sense, it promotes that the caregivers, dad and mom should be aligned, believe and think the same. “Children come into crisis when parents do not agree with each other, because with clear messages, laws, rules and limits, children know how to act and how to get out of their rules.
A complementary vision is given by the child psychologist, who says that it is time to restore the grace, the sacred, and the beautiful of the upbringing that is to accompany a human being in its development.
You have to give back the value of fatherhood, the privilege of being a father, which is often overshadowed by job success, and understand that build links with children, and in passing with people around you. That is an extremely powerful purpose in itself that enhances life.
Then, that from that connection is that the advice can fall on fertile substrate, if not each proposal can be distorted, because not everyone needs the same and there are no book applications. Everything requires incorporation from personalization.
Parenting is an arduous task, which can be the greatest path of personal development if we motivate it from love towards our children. Good father is the person who continuously develops as a human being to deliver the best for the growth of their children and is not, necessarily, who does everything ‘right’, that does not exist.
In this sense, affirms that no one is born knowing that he is a father because having a child does not make you a father and that only when you put yourself at the service of this vulnerable person, can you begin to incorporate resources.
Good father is who knows that this is a task always in learning, who speaks with friends, professional family members to learn every day to be a better father.
Continue Reading: How to maintain good communication between parents and children
From there, advises to incorporate techniques, skills and advice …
The 7 Principles To Be Good Parents
1) Presence: Know that you are available for the child. This does not mean that you are there all the time, but that quality is better than quantity. There are those who are there all day but there is no harmony or connection between them, children need to know that parents are accessible. But, adds the psychologist, the primordial thing is to connect from the joy of being present for the human being that is developing before your eyes.
2) Establish routines: It’s good for them, because they manage to predict what’s going to happen. It also serves so that as parents, you can detect what is happening to them when they react differently to a routine and, in addition, it makes the children more relaxed. Hence, routines, habits, norms and limits. But the philosophy behind it is even more important. We must focus our attention on considering the positive, long before the problem arises. Dedicate ourselves to reinforce what they are doing well instead of punishing their mistakes and indiscipline. Reflect in which ones with the values and habits that we want to see in our children, and dedicate ourselves to encourage them again and again and again.
3) Give trusts: When they are kids, you are there where they talk; they share constantly, so that when they are big, they tell you what happens. That the conversations are not an interrogation, that is mutual, a dialogue.
4) Teach with example: There is a trap, which says that you have to practice to preach, but they also have to understand that adults have benefits, this in everyday behavior, but in the values, there is a living example, where collaboration and coherence are part of this principle.
5) Express feelings: Emotions are developed and learned throughout life, not born with clear emotions. What is important is to teach them recognizing the emotions when they appear on a daily basis, telling them when they see that they are sad, happy or angry, the specialists teach. In addition, they say that emotions should not be denied in front of children, because from a young age they know how to detect and read the facial and bodily registers of emotions, but they do not know how to explain it. If not, you create a disconnection between the emotional and cognitive, between what I see and feel.
6) Be aware: Plan what I want in life from what we want for them, to ask later. Consciousness is broad, of myself, the others and is related to my cognitive and emotional development. You can stimulate it, but not over stimulate it and do it from babies, name the things they see because not because they are guaguas they do not understand. But above all, recognize the ability of children. Not all are made luminaries but each one has particular areas of development that are valuable, recommend the psychologists.
7) Learn to listen: It’s a very necessary skill and it fails us not only with children. It is more difficult because their communication is much more non-verbal than verbal. We must learn to communicate properly with them. Take back the domain of the corporal. It is important to learn to listen to their gestures, moods and emotions, everything that is non-verbal. And communicate not from the sermon but from the physical spaces of union, understanding and containment.